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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Wasianpower (talk · contribs) 03:02, 16 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Shushugah (talk · contribs) 17:56, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Start of review

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Hello Maddie, I am looking forward to working with you to improve this important topic. I am not an expert, and like you, am a passionate editor. Given the length of this article, I wanted to initiate this review already and publish my immediate thoughts, before I am done. I expect to finish this review before Friday.

I am happy to keep this review open as long as continual progress is being made. I will keep this review open for one week initially, but grant extensions in most cases. I am also happy for anyone else who wants to chime in as a co-reviewer.

In some cases, I have suggestions about what to improve in this article, that are not formally part of the Wikipedia:Good article criteria, but nonetheless will improve this article for our most important constituents, readers!

Thank you! Looking forward to your review, I will do my best to respond promptly! 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 18:43, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Wasianpower I just wanted to give you a status update, I am still reviewing but will be done by today. Apologies for the delay! ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 22:27, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
No worries! These last couple days ended up being crazy for me so it kind of worked out! 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 23:55, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Greetings Wasianpower I am in a 12-hour flight with surprisingly decent wifi, and finished reading the article comprehensively. I want to commend you for writing as neutrally/encyclopedically as you did on a challenging topic, balancing all relevant views in appropriate manner. There were a few instances were phrases far-right, right-wing made me double check, but in most cases I believe it's qualified by sources and written context. Source check is next step for me ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 16:51, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you so much! I'm on my lunch break right now so I'm going to start going through some of your comments, I appreciate it! 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:08, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Layout

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  • Timeline of the Reagan administration's AIDS response should simply be renamed to Timeline as it is about all events, beyond the administration.
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 18:41, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 18:41, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Rest of layout is very sensible and complies with MOS:LAYOUT
  • President's Commission on the HIV Epidemic would be a clearer name for a section, than Watkin's commission. No strong feeling either way
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 13:46, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sourcing

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Not a formal requirement of GA review, but the following would make article easier for readers and reviewers alike.

Fixed the PBS one! For the others I had left those in intentionally, since the website was distinct from the 'main website' of that service. If you disagree with this logic I'm happy to change them as well, I don't feel too strongly. 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 13:44, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Neutrality of prose

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  • with religious fundamentalists greatly favoring -> unclear if referring to all white evangelical voters or specific groups. Not encyclopedically neutral phrasing, please change
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:10, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Images and audio

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Nitpick

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  • The lede discusses Reagan being POTUS in the 1980s but does not specify exact years, yet it would be important to know if Reagan was president during or after AIDS was medically recognized etc.. on the other hand, you can remove fact he was 40th President; Ronald Reagan, the President of the United States (1981–1989) oversaw his country's response or lack-off to the HIV/AIDS crisis.
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:23, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • the then Surgeon General if he was SG in 1986, we call him that and don't qualify that it was then. We also don't capitalize job titles, unless it is an honorific. Same issue with Representatives in a few places
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:23, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first treatment for HIV/AIDS, AZT, was not approved until 1987 by the FDA. -> (since it jumps between US/Global context I wasn't sure if FDA or WHO who didn't approve it yet
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:23, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Reagans, Nancy -> Introduce his wife the first time
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:27, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ted Graber, whom the Reagans even invited to spend a night at the White House along with his partner. -> Ted Graber. The Reagans invited Graber and his partner to spend a night at the White House.
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:27, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:31, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:27, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • opposition from congress members Henry Waxman and Pete Domenici.
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:31, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • routine AIDS testing of immigrants, prisoners, and marriage-license applicants, as well as mandatory AIDS screening for immigrants -> Duplicated wording here
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:31, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done Green tickY 🌸⁠wasianpower⁠🌸 (talk • contribs) 17:31, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]